HIGHLIGHTS AND CULINARY DELIGHTS
I’m afraid this has nothing to do with jiggling (though my pert boobs might have done a bit of that on the B-roads of the Scottish Highlands), but to do the JOGLE, you need to free up a sizeable chunk of diary time, have a good, reliable mode of transport, and be prepared to see some of the best scenery you will encounter on the British Isles. And on 8th October 2024, I did exactly that, albeit with a quite a few meetings along the way in the 14 towns and cities across Britain that I chose to visit on this truly epic journey. I set off on that day to do a Dominatrix tour from my London Lair to John O’Groats (JOG) in Scotland to Land’s End (LE) in Cornwall, the points on the British mainland with the longest distance between them, then back to London again. And it went incredibly smoothly and successfully indeed. So this is how you can do it too. Sessions with kinky clients across the country recommended, but not essential.
CAMBRIDGE
Since it would have been unwise to travel non-stop from London to JOG (a 13-hour drive), I set off from my Lair in my leased silver BMW Series One (missing her already!) with the much nearer Cambridge in my sights and making use of the shorter journey there to get used to my high-tech car, whose key was on an app on my phone. After having some fun remembering how to reverse park (it had been a while!), I checked into my first hotel, near the station in Cambridge.
The sun was out and it was an unseasonably warm early October day, so I jumped in a cab to the River Cam to watch some punting in action. A different type of punting entirely to the kind I would be entertaining later that evening! I made it my mission to get a selfie with two of Cambridge’s most iconic bridges: the Mathematical Bridge and the Bridge O’Sighs. The latter proved more of a challenge, since I had to use my powers of role-play deception to make an unauthorised entry onto the beautiful grounds of St John’s College via a locked gate (It’s great that I’m around the age of a typical Mum of Oxbridge students). Of course, I had to work out how to break out again once I’d found my exquisite photo opportunity, and make my way out through the various inner courtyards of the college and into the city itself.
But at least I had a nice juicy steak waiting for me at the other side, accompanied by a nice glass of red. I dined at the River Bar Steakhouse & Grill on my first evening of my tour, enjoying the first of many delicious meals along the way.
YORK
It was very easy to get attached to the places I visited on my tour, but I really fell in love with York as soon as I parked up close to my city centre hotel. The weather was still glorious, and I intended to make the most of it while it lasted and explore York’s quaint city centre. From the soaring ecclesiastical majesty of York Minster to the Roman walls that surround the city to the olde-wolde charm of The Shambles with its abundance of Harry Potter-inspired shops, there was so much history to see. However, I really knew I’d struck gold when I happened upon a street sign that said “Whip-Ma-Whop-Ma Lane”. Now there’s a photo opportunity for a Dominatrix, especially for one who’s brought her trusty whip with her! Though this time, it couldn’t be a selfie. So I need to ask a willing passerby to take a photo of me in a leather trench coat with a whip to get the sign in the photo. It turns out that professing to have an Instagram account that features photos taken at quirky places with a variety of props is a good way to engineer that. BOOM!
The best restaurant I dined at in York was NOLA, an art deco-themed restaurant built inside an old chapel. I had a “good” night there and chose the vegan Southern fried cauliflower and a cherry cooler (got to have some no-alcohol days on a tour this long!), but enjoyed people watching in this super-touristy destination. I was sad to leave the next day, but at least I got to see my parents between York and Newcastle, which took the edge off things!
NEWCASTLE
Now, Newcastle is a place, like York, that is pretty close to my hometown, so I have visited it many times over the years. But it’s always a different experience visiting it in THIS way, I am flabbergasted by the number of closet kinksters in the North-East, and I wish there’d been more fetish people around when I was in my late teens and 20s!
Only being there for one night and that night being a Saturday night, I got out for an early dinner and admired the local nightlife, pleasingly as vibrant as it was when I’d partied there in my late teens (notably on a boat nightclub with a revolving dancefloor). I found a restaurant that I used to come to in the 90s, which used to be vegetarian, but now vegan. Supernatural’s super-yummy mushroom and seitan stroganoff filled me up for a night of sessions ahead. And after a decent breakfast the next morning, I was ready for the 3.5-hour drive ahead, taking in some of the incredible Northumbrian coastline in on my way.
ABERDEEN
Aberdeen is not an unfamiliar destination for me. In fact, I normally visit three times a year, immersing myself in the granite city. Those who are maudlin about Aberdeen focus exclusively on the depressingly desolate high street and neglect to take note of the historical and scenic gems outside the city centre: Duthie Park, the Old Town, Brig O’Balgownie, Seaton Park and, slightly further afield, Dunnotar Castle. My run of sunny luck was continuing to hold when I reached Aberdeen, so I planned something special for the Monday morning, getting up at 5:40am to make the 40-minute drive to 16th century Gothic ruin Slains Castle. Unfortunately, an early start in mid-October in this part of Scotland means a dark morning. So dark in fact that I managed to accrue not one but two penalty charges for driving in bus lanes that were barely visible at that time!
After arriving at a car park in a nearby village, there was a 15-minute walk up to the castle, situated on jagged cliffs. The sun was just rising at this point, and apart from a couple of dog-walkers in the village, there was not a soul around. By the time I got to Castle, it was completely bathed in golden light, the sun shining on it from the just above the horizon out east. This castle was the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but this was a whole different way of seeing it from its dark spooky haunted version at night. So what did I do there? I perched my tripod at the edge of the cliff face, got out my whip, and filmed a dawn whip jam with only the sound of the waves below for company. I’m sure Dracula would have approved.
Back at my hotel, I mainly grabbed healthy snacks from M&S to keep me going between the many sessions I had there. Free time was scarce, and I missed out on going to my favourite seafood-oriented restaurants, the Moonfish Cafe (situated on the fabulously-named Correction Wynd) and the Silver Darling (which has gorgeous harbourside views). But of course, I’ll be back there.
JOHN O’GROATS
Since my tour, a common question I’ve been asked is which place I liked the most. John O’Groats has been my answer. Mainly because it’s so damn remote! A 5-hour drive from Aberdeen along the most stunning coastline the UK can offer made me want to do the full Scottish Coast 500, but time was tight and I only had one day and night in JOG. I arrived at my lovely apartment where the North Sea was visible just a few metres from my floor-to-ceiling window, dropped off my cases and immediately ventured out to Duncansby Head, where towering stacks resembling witches’ hats ascend out of the sea. The wind began howling while I was out there, and the run of good weather was at an end.
I headed back to my apartment for a surprising number of sessions for my location, which kept me busy until 8pm. With the restaurant and cafe already closed, my best option for dining that evening was a fish and chips van in the car park, where I ordered the best haddock and chips I’d ever had! Now you can probably tell that I don’t make a habit of eating fish and chips, so this was a very special meal at one of the two extreme points of my tour. And if you make it as far as JOG, I fully recommend Highland Haddy’s van for your celebratory dish. Moments like these need to be commemorated!
With the weather distinctly still on the turn, I drove to the most northerly point in Britain, Dunnet Head for a photo op and traded being cameraperson with a group of young handsome Italian men. If only they knew why I was there, being windswept and rained upon!
INVERNESS
Inverness was again quite a drive, less pleasant due to the ferocious fog that descended on the A9, but I arrived in my destination just as the skies were clearing and sunshine restored. I had not too many dates in my diary here…which turned out to be a real blessing. Free time and a return to the warm(ish!) weather meant only one thing on my first full day there: a boat trip on Loch Ness. The monstrous depths may not have provided me with any legendary moments, but it sure was a serene way of taking in Scotland’s most famous loch. The adventures continued into the afternoon, when I drove to Foyer’s Falls to see the double waterfall and get completely lost on the trail until my GPS kicked in again.
That evening I had my first familiar join me on my tour. Ama Fox flew into Inverness’s tiny airport, getting admiring glances from all those who laid eyes on her! She was very keen to see the local sights while she was in town. It was just getting dark, so there was only one place to go. We jumped back in the car and headed to do a full circuit of Loch Ness, this just as night was falling. Mother Nature had a wonderful surprise for us that particular evening too! By coincidence, the one and only full moon of my entire tour happened at that very time, a super-moon no less! The moonlight in the deep blue sky was pouring onto the Loch, creating one of the prettiest sights I had ever seen. My Brazilian friend was dazzled and thankfully took some excellent photos while I was driving that we will cherish forever.
Back in Inverness, to honour the full moon, we headed to a speakeasy cocktail bar on the River Ness, The Wee Bar. This irresistibly quaint name drew us in, but my, the cocktails were exquisite! My Smoke & Coke set me up for a hearty seafood bouillabaisse along the bank at The River House restaurant. Banging fare! And it gets even better…the next day an early start demanded a suitably early breakfast. We rocked up to Inverness’s famous LGBTQ bakery XOKO and feasted on the most elaborate croissants we’d ever tasted! Their Pride competition-winning Judy Garland pastry was filled with key lime crème and topped with coconut praline. A super-indulgent morning delicacy to keep us going all the way to Glasgow.
GLASGOW
A girls’ road trip down the A9, spotting Highland castles through the mist, was the perfect precursor to our arrival in my somewhat regular haunt, Glasgow. Even though I visit my favourite Scottish city 3 or 4 times a year, there were still some gems to uncover, so Ama and I headed to the Necropolis, Glasgow’s Victorian garden of the Dead. It was midday, and I swear that at the very moment Ama starting photographing me frolicking around the cemetery in my leather trenchcoat and boots, the blue skies clouded over in an astonishingly dramatic fashion, giving the best possible backdrop for a cemetery shoot not long before Halloween.
Another item on my Glasgow to-do list for far too long was dining out at Fanny Trollopes, a restaurant named more innocently that it would appear (after the Brazilian immigrant who set the place up in the 1930s) with a menu that definitely isn’t for vegetarians. I was joyfully joined by my long-time local friends and collaborators Mistress Scarlet and Lady Bella Bird, as well as Ama. We dined on the fantastic Scottish fare, predominantly fish and seafood, all washed down with refreshing fruity cocktails. Then it was back to Lady Bella Bird’s, where the four of us chatted until a ridiculous time, resulting in my one and only hangover of the tour. But, boy it was worth it!
CARLISLE
Yet another stunning drive led me to my very first visit to Carlisle. Despite being unexpectedly busy with sessions there, I still found time to see the most famous landmark in the area, the Roman ruins of Hadrian’s Wall, a World Heritage site no less. I climbed onto the wall that bright but blustery afternoon, invoking Boadicea warrior energy as I bounded on. All that wall-walking made me hungry, so on my first evening there I threw myself into the tough task of finding a decent place open in Carlisle on a Monday night…and was pleasantly surprised!
I arrived at the Print Yard, a beautiful Victorian building with a tempting outdoor space. Heaters and blankets were available to those not as accustomed as the locals to the chilly autumn evening temperatures. I was given a warm welcome and a varied street food menu, just what I needed on my first night back in England. I even got snuggly in my blanketed cocoon directly under a heater and sipped an early cocktail before heading back to the cute little house I’d booked for my evening sessions.
It might not be my last visit to Carlisle.
MANCHESTER
Just like my experience in Glasgow, my visit to Manchester (after a fabulous drive down the M6 through the Lake District) was different from previous trips. I was delighted to be taken out for a dinner date by a regular London client on their home turf. We met just outside and took the lift up together to the rooftop location known as the Skylight Terrace at the Ivy Manchester, where champagne was a must. Time flew by as we chatted the hind legs of each other and dined on Asian fusion tapas, then it was back to my hotel via the vibrant Gay Village next to the canal, which had a distinct Halloween feel to it at that time. Think rainbows with added bats. The perfect city photo op for a bisexual Mistress passing through!
Seeing familiar faces on my tour certainly made sweeter, and I was thrilled to visit my friend Princess Aurora at her very own palace of pink for some filming in Manchester. Buoyed by the excitement of being about to present the UK Fetish Awards the following week, Princess Aurora collaborated with me on four clips that flowed so beautifully that it didn’t even feel like work. We went on to one of her favourite haunts, Viet Shack, where I had a rather excellent pho soup, gastronomic preparation for my forthcoming holiday in South East Asia.
BIRMINGHAM
Even with a full schedule, there are always ways of fitting in some fun time, especially when one of your besties from London arrives there! After an extremely hot double Domme session, my first in Birmingham, Mistress Wildfire and I headed with our client to a restaurant where I would have my first Indian cuisine of the tour. Lasan was truly an excellent culinary experience, and we didn’t hold back on trying the unknown when it was presented so well. The monkfish johl was particularly tasty, but it was really the sharing platter than we started the meal with that lavished our tastebuds with pleasingly spicy flavours. I can honestly not wait to return there.
Mistress Wildfire wasn’t the only Domme I met with in Birmingham. I arranged to meet the supremely talented Ronelle Chambers there too, in a coffee shop near the Gas Street Basin on the canal. A perfect Peaky Blinders setting brought into the 21st century! The coffee flowed and fuelled my Tommy Shelby-style swagger back to my hotel for my last night in the city.
Before leaving, I simply had to visit the city centre Kitty Café to get some feline loving. I was first in on a Sunday morning, having pre-booked, and it filled up very quickly, foiling my cunning plan to monopolise the kitties single-handedly. Such delusion…I was largely ignored while the cats were strangely magnetised to a couple of older ladies whom I strongly suspect had catnip and Dreamies stashed away somewhere.
BRISTOL
When I arrived in a Bristol drenched in golden sunshine, I had precisely 90 minutes before my sessions were starting, and no hope of seeing the sun in Bristol the rest of my time there after that. I immediately jumped into a cab and headed out to the spectacular architectural phenomena that is the Clifton Suspension Bridge, and realised what a popular tourist attraction it is! Maybe it was also because of the nearby Observatory or maybe it was because everyone else knew they were getting their last dose of proper sunlight in a while, but the surrounding area was utterly packed! However, my mission was accomplished and I could return to my apartment with my trophy photo safely on my phone.
That night I attended a comedy gig that I had bought a ticket for even before my tour started. It seemed serendipitous that something I wanted to see was happening in a particular place I’d planned to go to at a particular time. So after my sessions, I took a walk to the Wardrobe Theatre, a venue as tiny as it sounds, to watch Count Binface on his first stand-up tour, the “space politician” who has stood against Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak in local elections, and had alarming success in the London mayoral election this year. The show was pure political satire made silly and delightfully laughable, and pleasingly, I got to tell Count Binface in person how much I’d enjoyed the show afterwards. I couldn’t resist telling him about my tour (though I omitted to mention the purpose of it) and where I’d already visited. “Aren’t you tired?” he asked.
CARDIFF
It was on precisely the 22nd day of my 28-day tour that I realised that a day off would actually be quite nice. I had never sessioned 22 days solid before, and you do get to the point where a bit of a re-charge is necessary! So I asked the universe, and magically, I had no sessions booked in on day 23. I’d like to say that I had an incredible day in a fabulous spa, but unfortunately I was in Cardiff city centre. The weather was dull and grey. I took myself out for dinner at the Mermaid’s Quay, expecting a magical place where there would at least be a statue of a mermaid for a photo op. There wasn’t. There were just a bunch of chain restaurants, and I ended up having dinner at Bill’s, feeling like I’d deprived myself of something much better and more local, preferably fine dining (and found later all too late from a client that such places do exist in Cardiff).
Not to worry, I pulled myself out of the doldrums with a visit to the city centre-based Cardiff Castle, and launched myself off to the very top of the castle and looked down on my vast lands and my subjects. “Surely I can do this. Keep pushing Phoenix, you’ve got this! All the way to Land’s End.”
EXETER
It was Halloween night when I got to my penultimate destination. Having got my bearings around Exeter city centre and my photo op done outside the Cathedral, I made my way through multiple Beetlejuices and Harley Quinns to a restaurant I remembered from my days as a travelling saleswoman to the city. Those days were vegetarian ones too, so Herbies was my choice. The Caribbean chickpea curry I had was well worth the re-visit, so much so that I returned for the beet and bean burger the next day!
But I was really clamouring at this stage to get to my final port of call, so on Day 26 I got in my car and headed as south as one can go…with a pitstop at the most impressive botanical gardens the UK has to offer: the Eden Project in Cornwall. For a few hours, I was transported into the humidity of a tropical rainforest and the gentle warmth of Mediterranean lands in the huge biomes there, the lush vegetation providing ample warmth to the soul just when it was needed.
LAND’S END
The thing that struck me about Land’s End is that it isn’t an actual point but an entire village. Okay, so the “village” might be a collection of a hotel, restaurant, café and shop, owned by a private company, but there was enough there to keep me occupied while I was there.
Obviously, the first task to accomplish there was having my photo taken by the sign. The kindly photographer incorporated the message “Phoenix Flight ends here” onto the sign, which was really quite special. I really felt a sense of achievement and raised a glass to myself in the Land’s End Hotel restaurant, celebrating solo due to the absence of any other Mistresses for miles around. Great locally-caught fish was on the menu, so I dined on mussels and frites on my very last meal of my tour.
Still, I managed to sneak a jaunt in to the southern counterpart to Dunnet Head, Lizard Point, its dramatic cliffs just a few miles from the sensational Kynance Cove, a place where the waters even look turquoise in November.
At 6pm on 4 November 2024, I delivered my BMW back to the car park I had picked it up from. It had exactly 2397 miles on the clock. My mileage allowance had been 2400. Whether it was the Loch Ness super-moon, the golden morning at Slains Castle, the beauty of Kynance Cove or simply the good energy you get from seeing friends and familiar faces, there was something magical about doing the JOGLE as a working Dominatrix. It felt like a pilgrimage, similar to the Camino de Santiago, something I felt deeply, at soul-level. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime endeavour for me, but I do hope others will feel inspired to follow this route.
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